Recovery 2.0 is a global community of people who have found a way to overcome addiction and thrive. It was founded in 2013 by Tommy Rosen, an internationally renowned yoga teacher, addiction recovery expert and author with over 34 years of continuous recovery from addiction.
This Q&A series features the unique stories of individuals who are part of this community, exploring their journeys into recovery and experience with Recovery 2.0.
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What brought you into recovery?
My main struggle was with cannabis. My life wasn’t falling apart. It was more just a growing awareness that I wasn’t feeling the fullness of my life. I felt detached and I had a gut feeling that smoking weed was the reason why. It helped me numb the distressing emotions, but it was cutting me off from the positive emotions as well. I was afraid that if I kept smoking there would come a time when I wouldn’t feel any emotions at all. That fear was a big motivation. I wanted to feel my life. I wanted to feel more connected to myself and my community and other people.
I’m a mental health counselor and a kundalini yoga teacher. The way I was living felt dishonest. I was going into rehab facilities to help people struggling with addiction and then going home and getting really high. It didn’t make any sense. A few years before getting sober, I went on a meditation retreat led by Jack Kornfield at Kripalu. They had a really strict policy of no drinking or drug use so I ended up spending five days totally sober, which I hadn’t done in years. I opened up to Jack and the community about my struggle. That was a powerful experience.
But after two weeks back home, I fell back into old habits because I didn’t have a community of support and I didn’t want anything to do with 12-step programs. Years later, I confided in another yoga teacher that I really wanted to stop smoking and he told me to do the breath of 10, which is a powerful breath exercise that was kind of like a jump start into my recovery.
How did you find Recovery 2.0?
I was doing my daily breathing exercises and staying sober. I Googled “kundalini yoga” and “recovery” to see if other people were doing this and Recovery 2.0 popped up! It was incredible to discover a whole community that was focused on kundalini yoga and spirituality and recovery. Tommy had a breath workshop that weekend and I signed up!
I made it a year and a half not smoking weed, but I wasn’t going to any meetings and I ended up relapsing. That lasted about two months, and during that time I realized it was a full-on addiction. I didn’t know how to get out of it and, all of the sudden, an email came through and it was about Tommy’s 8-Week Awakening Program. I signed up for that and I started going to Recovery 2.0 meetings. I’ve been sober now for three and a half years.
What would you say to someone who is questioning their relationship with cannabis?
If you’re using cannabis in a thoughtful, conscious way to help lead you through a difficult time on a path of healing, having other healing modalities in place is really important. But if you’re self-medicating in an unconscious way, in an attempt to numb or avoid feelings, then it’s probably something to look at. I think I’d just get really curious with that person and ask a lot of questions. Like, what does smoking do for you? What happens if you don’t smoke?
I remember going to an acupuncturist for help with my anxiety and she asked me if I thought smoking weed was contributing to my anxiety. I was shocked, like, no, smoking weed is what chills me out! But I can see now how it was actually having a detrimental impact on my nervous system and it wasn’t chilling me out as much as I thought it was. I think it was just covering up a lot of shame and feelings around not being good enough.
What happened when you stopped using drugs and alcohol?
I found a sponsor in Recovery 2.0 and worked the 12 Efforts (Recovery 2.0’s version of the 12 Steps), and that’s when I realized that what was really underneath all of the cannabis and alcohol use was sex and love addiction. About a year later, I started going to a Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous meeting and I worked the 12 Steps with a sponsor in that program. Both of those experiences required a different degree of self-awareness and honesty, to really explore where this behavior stems from.
I used to use sex for power and I would seduce people in a manipulative way, because it gave me a feeling of worthiness. I hurt people in the process. That’s where the shame comes in, and that’s what I’ve really been sifting through. Even when sex isn’t involved, I’m super aware now of when I’m using my energy in a seductive way to get my emotional needs met.
My partner now is kind of a magical unicorn of a human being and man, and he has an unbelievably healthy relationship with sex. I had never had sober sex before. At the beginning of our relationship, he would call me out if I started to dissociate or be performative in bed, and we’d have these amazing, vulnerable conversations. His gentle curiosity encouraged me to be more honest with myself about what was going on. He made me feel safe to walk into a space of conscious vulnerability. I’d never connected with somebody like that before.
How do you feel about being part of the Recovery 2.0 community?
I feel like I found my people. It’s brought this incredible feeling of connection and community with other people who speak a similar language and who just get it. There’s a common sense of curiosity and understanding and it’s not just about being sober – it’s about recovery and expanding and exploring. There is nothing but love here. It’s judgement-free. It’s unlike any other community that I’ve been a part of. And it just keeps growing.
What does your involvement look like?
When I was new to recovery I went to Recovery 2.0 meetings online daily, but now it’s more like once or twice a week. I attend the Monday Night Live if I’m interested in hearing the speaker. I’ve been to Tommy’s retreats at Kripalu a handful of times. I went on a Recovery 2.0 retreat in India a couple years ago and that was incredible. Hands down, I would definitely do that again. I sponsor other women, one at a time, taking them through the 12 Efforts. I haven’t done the Recovery 2.0 Coach Training, but maybe one day I’ll feel called to do that.
I’ve made some deep connections with a handful of people who live close by (in Burlington, Vermont) and we’ve been able to meet up and go for walks or out to meals and things. It’s nice to be able to hang out and spend time with the people in this community. They’re like me in their disinterest in surface-level conversation. We like to go deep.
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